I stepped away from social media several years ago. I quit Facebook in March 2017 after growing tired of meaningless political debates. The country was divided. Everyone was arguing and I grew sick of the misinformation and ignorance on FB.
It doesn’t matter how much we think we know about politics or the economy. The truth is we don’t know Jack. I don’t care how much research you’ve done. You can find ‘evidence’ to support any position you want online. Ask a Flat Earther. The internet is a cesspool of stupidity, alternative facts, and conspiracies that Americans (not us alone) use to entertain themselves. The sad part is too many believe it’s all real and their opinion matters.
Not too long after quitting Facebook, I was banned from Twitter for being mean to a Nazi. He said something hateful and ignorant. I called him a name. He likely reported me. I got the ban hammer. I was upset at first but then a few days passed. Without that app, I realized how much time I wasted doom-scrolling and how that time spent made me feel.
Social media allows haters and trolls to act without consequences aside from a banning. I don’t know if you noticed but the incivility and rudeness displayed on social media are uncommon in public. Users hide behind accounts and behave in a manner they would never do in the real world. I now refer to Facebook and X antisocial media
After one week off Facebook, I felt better. After one week off Twitter, I was free. It was a revelation. It was suggested that I would lose touch with friends back east. People said I would get bored, feel isolated, and come back. They don’t know me as well as they think.
If I need social media to remain in contact with a ‘friend’ I have not seen in years, don’t speak to on the phone, no text, and no email… are we really friends? Am I losing anything? How many Facebook friends do you have that you never interact with? I had many who reached out to me, “Hey Don, I haven’t seen you in years.” We had a brief exchange. I friended them back. The end.
I unfriended many after a while because I’m a purger. I don’t want all their stuff popping up on my wall. I don’t want them spying on my life. We hadn’t spoken since the early eighties. What is the point of all this voyeurism?
I have three grandchildren across the country. If it weren’t for them I would have ZERO social media. I’m on Instagram because my daughter-in-law posts photos and videos every week, multiple times. Instagram and FaceTime are my connections to the grands. It’s not ideal. I don’t post often on IG, sometimes garden or guitar pics, or vacation stuff. My last post was about the Celtics winning that banner to the right of my blog… back in June.
Not engaging in the dumb public discourse on social media is liberating. You realize that many annoyances in daily life are coming from strangers who mean nothing to you. Those platforms were a net negative experience for me. They put me in a bad mood more often than a good mood. I’m coming up on eight years off FB and seven off Twitter. I don’t miss them.
It is sobering to accept the fact that my opinion is worthless and nobody gives a fuck what I think. Go ahead, try it. Take this humbling approach to social media and admit that what you believe is meaningless and no one values your opinion. If you don’t believe that’s true ask yourself one question. Do you value the opinion of the average Joe or Jane on the internet? Of course, you don’t. What makes you believe they care what you think?
I recall when a big shot in media thought their opinion mattered and said social media would democratize the internet by giving everyone a voice in the conversation and FB is the new public square. How did that turn out? Is EVERYONE having a voice a good thing?
This is the most important finding in my anti-social media experience. I was as bad as the next troll. Social media brought out the worst version of me. I reacted poorly to stupidity and rudely to hate. That’s how I got banned from Twitter. You know my writing. Can you imagine me conjuring one-liners to cut people down? And as an independent, I pissed off both sides.
I didn’t know it at the time but getting banned was the best thing that could have happened to my psyche.
This was proven when I tried Threads during the World Series and the 2024 Election. I plugged back in and within days felt the weight on my shoulders. My mood was pulled down. I deleted the app days after the election. I’m done. I know what these apps do to me.
There’s another benefit to unplugging. I spend a lot more time writing fiction and less time scrolling the shallow, vacuous, and pretentious content we’ve become addicted to. I pity the generation behind me. They think social media influencers matter. Keeping up with the Joneses has never been as big as it is today. Influencers offer images of a wonderful life. The average Gen XYZ millennial thinks that’s the real world and when they compare their lives it’s damn depressing. No honey, you’re living in the real world. Most of that shit on your screen is fake. Deal with it.
Everyone is looking for that fifteen minutes of fame they were promised. Going viral is a goal users feel entitled to. They film everything and post anything in search of views and likes. Half of the people who go viral do so for the wrong reason. A word of advice to young people. If you’re about to do something risky and you’re best bro says, “Stop! Wait. Let me get my phone out.” Don’t do it. I will confess to occasionally enjoying the Darwinism displayed on the web. Natural selection has never had so much media coverage.
How does this tie into my fiction writing?
While looking at writing platforms it was easy to see how much these websites rely on social media. They want you to link your writing account to Facebook, X, Instagram, TikTok, Linkedin, and any platform you could use to promote your work - and their website.
I said in a recent blog post that I must learn how to promote my work to find an audience. Now you see my dilemma. If social media is the only tool, I’m fucked. These platforms and apps rely on social media. The younger audience is heavily engaged with their screens. But let’s not fool ourselves, Boomers are screen-addicted too.
Since publishing on Wattpad I’ve learned that their audience is primarily Gen XYZ women and the top genre by far is romance. I did not know this going in. Maybe Watching The Detectives wasn’t the best lead-off hitter. This new intel is one reason I began publishing Joe’s story there. There’s romance in my punk writing. Still, it’s a long shot.
I can’t imagine women half my age are interested in an old man’s fiction set decades ago, before they were born. Also, does a millennial want to read Boomer’s fictional tales of romance and music they don’t listen to? I don’t know.
I’ll keep writing and searching for the perfect platform but I know I’m playing with a handicap. My aversion to social media will hamper my efforts. I accept this because I know my daily mood is better without the noise. I’m a cranky old man. I don’t need to amplify the crank with social media. I also know if I joined again I would write less fiction as I get sucked into the vapid black hole.
I value my time. I don’t know how much I have left but I’d rather spend it doing something I enjoy that helps me feel good and makes me less of a shitty person.