Sacred Heart Author's Notes

 WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS VIGILANTE SPOILERS. 

Many readers didn't see this first note because they skipped over chapter 3.  More than half.

1/4 - Chapter 03 --- MSG HEIST ---

I'm going to try this author's note blog post to see if it flies. Every few chapters, I might add notes. Sometimes I have these ideas, but they don't pan out. At least for chapter three, I have something to say.

I gave you three chapters in three days to get readers past the world-building and scene-setting and into the meat of the story. That will not happen again.

That slog of a scene that opened the story concerned me. I hope it wasn't too much politics. It was necessary to get that out of the way, the big picture backstory, so I could move on with the news reporting and crime-fighting story. I did that political information dump in a scene and conversation to have multiple voices and points of view rather than a narrator explaining the mess we're in. If there was one aspect of this writing I struggled with from the start, it was long narrative passages. I did the same with the dinner scene with Mom and Dad. I much prefer my characters telling the tale in their voices. 

I'm not a world builder aside from developing characters of a time. I write in the real world, using places like New York and LA because everyone knows them well enough, and I don't have to create a world. I simply choose a period, the 1970s, the 1990s, and now 2035.

The thing about writing in the future, even the near future, is that I must do some world-building to explain the years ahead to bridge the gap to 2035. I converted some of these long narrator-driven passages into scenes, but several remain. I had to build a vigilante world with a history, and that requires explaining.

The political angle is always present, but I keep it as a side story, something my characters bitch about or try to ignore, as we all do. Now that Aiden knows there's a new vigilante, we get into the real story. It's about crime, heroism, civic duty, and corruption. As a journalist and a citizen, Aiden must make hard choices as he's drawn closer to the action.

If you find Aiden's choices disagreeable, or you believe the crusader is wrong in his mission and execution, that's okay. I'm cool with that. I am writing to create a social/moral dilemma that will have people on both sides.

And now, as of this weekend, real-world events have me making minor changes to my story. When you see how I weave a little Venezuela into this, you'll see how nicely it fits.

1/14 - Chapter 08 --- BLUE SKY ---

I finally completed the rewrite this week. When I opened Sacred Heart on December 20th, there were 20 chapters. My plan was a light rewrite, coloring here and there. That's not what happened. The novel is now 25 chapters. Not only that, the average chapter was 5500 words, typical of my detective writing, tighter with fewer side stories. Now, the average is maybe 6300. Adding 800 words per chapter, plus five full chapters, is a major rewrite. I can tell you where a lot of those words are, Blue Sky.

In the original story, drones were in four scenes, just a casual mention, and then one major event that comes later. I decided to dial up the techie side of future policing as a way of giving my story cops to relate to, not bad cops, but maybe this Blue Sky program is a little sketchy. Every mention of Blue Sky, every drone-cop character, the air stations, and every drone scene involving the Blue Sky team were written and woven into the old story. That's a big fucking job.

When you rewrite, weaving in new characters and events, they affect other characters and events. You must comb the story for any references or facts that must be changed to align with the new writing. That is the biggest pitfall of a major overhaul: it's easy to miss a few nuts and bolts. My work is not 100% complete.

I had multiple endings to this story, dark and light. I finally deleted one. I have two versions of the climactic crime scene, each a full chapter and a different perspective. I decided to use both, not woven, back-to-back. I'm pleased with how that reads. 

--- BEWARE: WALLS OF TEXT AHEAD ---

Aiden lives a solitary life in some ways, but he also has secrets he cannot share with his people. The crusader leads a solitary life, lurking in the shadows. There are many scenes, most of a chapter in some cases, where they are in a struggle of solitude, and there's no dialogue.

Walls of text narrative is not my favorite style of writing or reading. World-building requires narrative, as does lone-wolf storytelling. I like the writing. I'm rolling with it. You've been warned. I know if you don't like it, you'll just skip it. The evidence is in the numbers.

Until next time.

1/22 - Chapter 12 --- BLOODSHED & MAYHEM ---

The MTA Train Yard shootout is my over-the-top, violent action scene I could imagine being in a stupid Hollywood action movie, the cannon booms, blood mist, and missing limbs, human remains in heaps. Because I wrote this scene, a reader might believe I'm into that genre. I am not, but I wanted to go all-in on Sacred Heart. If I'm going to write a crime-action drama with a body count, don't sanitize it with a PG rating.

I will confess that it's fun to write, with a close eye on the reality and credibility of the action. Is it believable? The firefight on Pier 98 was straightforward enough. The MTA yard raised the ante, far more bloodshed with roughly the same body count. Is it plausible? That's my number one metric.

What I loathe most about most Hollywood action films is the abandoning of reality, logic, and the laws of physics and nature. The action is simply not believable. This is a challenge in future scenes of bloodshed and mayhem. I rewrote the ending of this novel because there were reality gaps I could not abide.

At one point, the MTA drone scene was the only drone scene in this story. Officer Crockett is an original character; how he died was rewritten, with me adding his doofus heroism. When the idea of Crockett finding that prayer card and then dying minutes later struck me, that was an epiphany moment. Yes!

Back to believability. There's a larger conspiracy Sacred Heart is trying to uncover. Is it plausible? In the context of today's politics, from which this tale is based, I believe it's not only credible, but we know there are extremists who think this way. Going down the rabbit holes of political conspiracies is risky, but as long as I maintain a plausible, logical storyline, as I try to do with the action scenes, I think I can pull it off.

More mayhem to come.

1/28 - Chapter 15  --- GOOGLE STREET SCENES ---

When I'm creating a crime scene, I'm not describing a fictitious New York street. I Google Maps my way through unfamiliar intersections, using Street View to locate subway entrances and other neighborhood features. I put my action at that scene, and describe the street as it is. 

In his mad station-to-station run in Fordham Heights, I drove the route through the four-story narrow canyon right up to the Green Line stairs at the bodega. That's how I learned the #4 train was elevated in the Bronx, and I had to rewrite the action that came afterwards, which was complete and now in the trash. In the end, I enjoyed getting my story out of the subway tunnels. I hope that action sequence was believable. 

I have ridden the MTA many times, but I don't know it all because I've never lived in New York. From All The Young Punks to Sacred Heart, I have learned the New York subway system. Google Maps has everything. Click on an MTA station, and you get a photo of the platform and which trains stop there. I have taken what I have gathered and created this possible future, with the subway system as a character as much as a setting.

I like using locations in the city I know from my visits, but that's only a small fraction of all the locations I use. I have never been to Harlem. The corner building that was blown up at Marcus Garvey is described as it is today. The stoops along the street where witnesses told their version of the gunfight are real, as they are all over New York. I enjoy keeping it real as much as I can in fiction.

I always have bumbling cops and lucky breaks for my hero, Hollywood tropes, but there will be no magic tricks or super powers in my action writing. Like Ironman and Batman, my comic book hero must be tech-based. Even then, every tool and weapon Sacred Heart deploys is real, no Batcycles, just a Kawasaki.

Based on the numbers, I'd guess there are a dozen or more readers staying with me on this story. The chapter-to-chapter views are erratic, but seem to be settling in the teens. Woohoo! This is nothing like my punk writing, so I understand. 

--- PBS DOCS ---

I have not been writing much, not a slump, just a break. I have the PBS add-on for Amazon Prime, the best five bucks a month I ever spent. Since Christmas, I have watched the American Revolution three times. That's a six part ten hour series. I'm a huge Ken Burns fan. I watched The Civil War again, for like the sixth time. I then watched The West, for the second time, and Lewis and Clark for the first time.

I'm certain there will be some historical fiction writing in my future. I'm creating my characters and their backstories, tied to actual history. Later, I'll put them in a tale of adventure. I'm considering writing them as anti-heroes, not always the good guys, creating moral ambiguity on the frontier. That's all I have, PBS documentaries and the seed of a late 18th-century novel.

I joke about old men all the time because I've known them my entire life, and I've turned into one. I have the documentary gene; history, all the wars, space, rock and roll docs, science, nature, and I can binge like a champion. Netflix has some good, not cheesy, docudramas; The Ottomans is a standout, and the siege of Constantinople is fascinating. 

Hey, it's my blog. I write what I want.

Back to crime and mayhem.

Sacred Heart

Sacred Heart is now live on Wattpad. There's a link to the right of this page. >>>>>>

WARNING: THIS NOVEL CONTAINS POLITICS.

That's a more critical warning than sex and violence these days. Politics is a great divider. As a life-long independent, I genuinely have a both sides suck attitude. I have never been a member of a political party, and yet I never miss an election. Both sides suck for different reasons. In Sacred Heart, I had to play the both-sides card hard to remain as on-the-fence as possible to not offend the snowflakes.

It's not just that I don't want to offend; realistically, it's essential to portray both sides when a nation is roughly divided down the middle. 

I don't know if I have sensitive snowflake readers who get triggered by strongly worded opinions they disagree with, but in this day and this political climate, it's highly likely. I don't always play it down the middle. The pendulum swings.  And because I am unaffiliated and have voted for and against the blue and red teams, I have the skills to piss off both sides.

I wrote Sacred Heart for NaNoWriMo 2020. That means I started the book on November 1st and completed my first draft before November 30th. This novel was born during a contested election. It was crazy, right?  My imagination took a dark turn.

As it turns out, I was not that far off. Then, in this rewrite, I wove in real events since 2020, tying my fictional urban crisis to the real world.

--- NEW YORK CITY 2035 ---

In one long opening scene and conversation, I dispense with much of the political upheaval and divisiveness of the 2020s and 2030s. It will feel all too familiar and may be annoying. After that scene, the story is not about politics, even as the events are shaped by politics.

My lead character, Aiden Regas, is a liberal do-gooder journalist, like most journalists. I mean journalists with credentials and an education in journalism, not cable TV talking heads and pretty-face newsreaders. Print reporters are mostly liberal.

Aiden's book publisher and the newspaper's owners are more conservative. The military men, cops, and prosecutors are all conservative. So, using this basic 'profession as a barometer' approach, I give both sides a voice.

This is the first book I've written with a body count, and it's a significant one. If you don't like violence in literature, you have been warned. I am not a military man, but I have decades of experience working in aerospace and defense, so I have an interest in the technology of war.  I had to do some research.

I try my best to be as accurate as possible. Sometimes I go so deep into a research rabbit hole that I learn more about the topic than I need for the writing I'm doing. In this story, that research was heavily technology and weapons-based. 

This is my first book not set in the 20th Century. I get to have cellphones! Yay! And because it's near-future, I can twist reality just a little. Writing in the modern world was a nice change of pace for me.

I am still working on this book as I release it. For that reason, the days you see chapters may be erratic. I won't guarantee a predictable Sun-Tue-Thu-Sat schedule.

I suspect this book will have far less traction than my punk writing, which barely gets 40 reads per chapter, but IDGAF.  First, I write for myself, what interests and entertains me as a writer. After that, if someone cares to read, great. If not. (shrugs) I'm always proud of my work, even when I beat myself up.

Rewrite Afterthoughts

 This is just me rambling about writing.

Pretend I'm using a typewriter for my punk rewrite. I had two stacks of pages. On the left, old chapters and scenes from the last publishing, T flying to LA, the divorce, three amigos, etc. On the right, new writing, like every Theroux family scene and storyline that did not exist in the Lit version. I had to stitch these together, throwing away many scenes, entire chapters, into my overflowing wastebasket of crumpled pages.

Some unused pages were set aside in a third stack. Maybe I can use them down the road. The glory hole material was set aside and then redeployed two years later than its original place in the timeline. Now that I'm done rewriting, I still have dozens of these orphan scenes that never got a call back.

The first ten chapters of VIP were heavy on the old story. In the teens, it shifted quickly to mostly new writing. In the last eight chapters, my piles were down to a few old scenes: lunch with Mila, Doc, and Martin, and Jenna's visit. And the new material: Hangar X, the BP sessions, the fashion chicks, and the final showdown with DB. 

As you were reading those final chapters, I was having doubts and rewrite afterthoughts. I don't know if I got it right. 

Jenna's Venice trip was the final chapter of Punks, and the narrative was written as such. It doesn't really fit where I placed it in VIP. The lunch at Flanny's was part of the epilogue. I liked that scene, so I kept it. In hindsight, maybe it didn't belong there. That conversation should have been used earlier, or thrown in the bin. Those are two examples where mistakes were made by blending the old pages with the new. 

If I were rating the final chapters, I couldn't give them 5 stars for author satisfaction, but I'm pleased with the overall VIP work, even though I did not get some things right.

The end of this book was all about closure on several fronts, first Mila, then Jackie. The mob hit chapter with Joe and Luke was fun to write and a nice break from all the legal crap. It served a purpose. After years of being at odds with her big brother, Jackie finally realizes that no matter what, Joe is there for them.

I had to dispose of David Benjamin once and for all. That scheme required chapters of setup and development before the payoff. I read the deposition and final chapter recently, before you did. I thought it was cheesy. I like how he torpedoes their legal proceeding, but Joe's dialogue was a little dumb in spots. 

In dispatching his nemesis, Joe also has closure with Laura. There's no doubt who is in charge at Guerilla Records, and she can shut up now. And now Joe has a mini empire to run. Is that what he wants?

I'm certain my rewrite project burned me out. The curse of the rewrite is that you get tired of your own story, working on the same scenes and chapters. I'm sure readers can relate. My dark moods of late disqualify me from using words like 'thrilled' or 'elated,' but I'm pleased to be done with 2025, this year, this project, and to turn the page. I'm back to writing productively after some rough patches.

--- SPRING OF 2026 ---

That's when Joe will return. I am currently writing the first draft of chapter 13 of White Wedding. I have scenes written for later chapters, and I also wrote a rough ending.  Having the ending figured out halfway through a book makes it so much easier to follow a path. There's my destination. I must write my way there. 

And because I wrote that ending to White Wedding, there will be another book following Joe and Tina's nuptials. I had planned on ending the chronological punk timeline after the honeymoon. Then I wrote the ending to WW, and a 1999 story was right there, too perfect to not write. The punk addicts will love it.

Because I wrapped up all Joe's hostilities, major and minor, at the end of VIP, I must create new adversaries and allies for Joe and his fiancée. And I bring back an old one. There will be more cross-pollination between punks and detectives, as Joe and Tina hire Kat to dig dirt on a new foe. 

I did what I set out to do with Tina. She is a costar with her own stories, but the fashion storyline will not be a major theme going forward, aside from a few fashion dramas that complement the bigger picture, like Joe introducing her to Kat and Vivian.

If you're a reader who finds Tina a little annoying, I nailed it. That's precisely what I want. Why? Because spouses can be annoying. I need to make this realistic. Joe and Tina are imperfect. For every smart move they make, they take a wrong turn. The battle for the pants is on.

You may have noticed that XXX scenes disappeared late in VIP. I just wanted to get to the finish line. There will always be naughty scenes, innuendo, sexual tension, and anxiety, but I can't predict how much erotic content there will be. That is decided in the moment, when writing, and it must serve the story. 

All of that is months away. I have other works ready to publish for 2026, the writing that got me through the darkness. I enjoy crime writing. It's a very different process.

I promise you'll never see 229 chapters in one year again, 16 of Sunset '77, and 213 chapters of punks. I added 81 chapters in the 2025 rewrite, mostly in Anxiety and VIP. Going forward, the books will be shorter and more focused on the main event.  WW is looking like 24-ish chapters.

Before you see any of that, it's crime and mayhem, coming soon.

Writing In The Darkness

One year ago this week, I resurrected this blog to share the final chapters of The Venice Scene after my split with Lit. Then I embarked on this rewrite and publishing of Joe's story to Wattpad. That project is complete. One month from now, the final chapter of VIP Rewards reaches beyond the previous punk timeline. 

It was my intention to publish White Wedding next, but that was derailed by personal issues and a long writing drought. I had a less-than-productive summer as I lost my mojo for a couple of months. In late August, after a good week of writing, my baby brother died young and unexpectedly. I mentioned his passing in my Doomsday Heart blog post. There's no need to revisit that here

Two months and a trip to Georgia for his memorial service later, I'm still feeling the grief hangover.  That trip was rough, but also sweet, as I met his southern military family, who were warm, welcoming, and supportive to a stranger. In many ways, they knew my brother better than I. We grieved together, and also laughed. Glen was a goober, a grown child, loved by many in LaGrange, Georgia.

My brother, 13 years younger than I, served 21 years in the US Army, mostly stationed in the south at Fort Benning, Fort Stewart, and Fort Campbell, as well as tours in Kosovo and Korea, peacekeeping, and two tours in Iraq. His full military service, 21-gun salute, taps, and having his flag presented to me, on my lap... I have no words.

(Exhales audibly)

That was nearly a month ago, and while I still have the hangover, I've mostly moved on. When I sat down to write, White Wedding was not happening. I had four chapters done and old work to rewrite, but I was not in the mood for that project. My dark mood led me elsewhere.

I have mentioned my vigilante action/crime novel, Sacred Heart. It's a dark near-future tale, with lots of violence and a significant body count. It is political, which can be a minefield. I had to write like a highwire artist, doing a both-sides-are-responsible balancing act where characters on the right and left debate the decay of society and who's to blame. We are to blame, all of us!

I don't know why, but crawling into that dark hole to rewrite that brutalist story was comforting, while I was already in a bad place. Writing in the darkness was oddly soothing. That novel is one light pass from being ready to publish.

After that, I jumped into my next detective novel. I had previously done a great deal of research into the international diamond trade, writing notes and preparing for Kat and Vivian's next big case. I am currently writing chapter 15 of Sunset Private Eyes. The last few weeks have been productive, sometimes a chapter per day, despite the dark cloud.

I cannot predict where my head will be in December. As I write this blog, it appears I'll be publishing a crime novel next. Sacred Heart is ready. After that, in 2026, Sunset Private Eyes, followed by White Wedding... if I get back in the mood for Joe and Tina's drama.

The future is unwritten.

Venice VIP Rewards

The sixth book in the Punks Universe, Venice VIP Rewards, is now live on Wattpad.  There's a link to the right. >>>>>>

VIP Rewards picks up exactly where Adventure In Anxiety ends. Tina is on a plane to California to finally fix the biggest mistake of her life, claim her man, and collect her Venice VIP Rewards. She's facing divorce, selling off her gallery business, starting a fashion brand, and a total upheaval in her life. 

Joe is entering a new phase in his career. His touring days are over. He's building new partnerships and a future as a part-time performer and full-time producer. With his legal battles behind him, Joe yearns for a simpler life, close to home. Life is never simple for Joe. In VIP, he will pull off his biggest coup of his career, changing his business and life.

VIP is 35 chapters. The first ten chapters are a mix of old material from Lit, the divorce period, and brand-new writing. Once you get into the teens, it's 100% new writing. Near the end, there are a few chapters of mixed material, the final scenes of the Lit Punks version, and the end of the 2025 rewrite. 

This book was 32 chapters, completed weeks ago. Then, while doing a final pass from the beginning, I began to feel the ending was not right. Every time I break off a book and start a new one, I look for a seam in the timeline. In the VIP case, Tina gets on that plane to change her life, an easy call.  It's not always so clear.

I must also decide which side-stories I will carry on to the other side of the break, and which to close out. After this book was complete, I added three more chapters to put an end to a long-running storyline that I had planned to carry into the next book. Once I wrote this new ending, I was very pleased with my decision.

--- FUTURE PUNKS ---

After VIP will come White Wedding. I make no guarantees or predictions when you'll see the next book. It's too soon to tell. I have a lot of work to do as my first drafts of WW chapters are a bit rough, and I must change them to include the new realities in Joe's life, like Jeanie living in LA, and the butterfly effect. After WW, I'm taking this project in a new direction, breaking the timeline and my chronological storytelling. 

While writing VIP in the mid to late chapters, it dawned on me that there had not been a sex scene for several chapters. For a long stretch, there was just the usual innuendo, teasing, and a few references to Joe and Tina fucking after a homecoming. 

I was tempted to drop a scene in the middle of that, then decided no. If I did not think to include an erotic scene during that stretch, maybe the story didn't need one. Maybe it never needs them. I don't want to force it, writing erotica that doesn't serve a purpose other than being naughty. This caused me a period of contemplation on where this story is going, future punks.

While I kept a good amount of erotica from Lit in this rewrite, I also removed many scenes. Back in 2022, I was writing for Lit, learning to write erotica. While reworking that version in 2025, I felt the number of sex scenes distracted from the story. I saved those scenes; some were redeployed elsewhere in VIP, and others may get rewritten for future use. 

My next challenge is to make stories about married life interesting. I am literally mining my own life as a husband, father, and partner. It's back to the write what you know mantra I used in the first chapters of ATYP. I know how difficult marriage and co-parenting can be. I can torture Joe with that shit.

On the other hand, I'll have to get creative, using Joe and Tina's history and hyper-sexual relationship to conjure sordid affairs. And of course, there's always anxiety and insecurity with this headcase couple. 

The Butterfly Effect

SPOILER ALERT: If you are not up to date with chapter 60 in AA, this blog contains spoilers.

If you have read chapter 60, there are ten chapters remaining in Adventures in Anxiety. I've been waiting for this important moment in the punk timeline to share these thoughts on my story. I don't know if readers like author's notes, because no one says one way or the other. 

I don't like cluttering my already 7k-long chapters with my commentary, and Wattpad does not have tools to support authors communicating with readers. So, my author notes are rare. This one had to be written.

New happenings written into the 2025 punk rewrite have a butterfly effect. Everything that comes after must be changed to fit Joe's new reality. I foreshadowed Jeanie's move to LA for 50+ chapters, with multiple scenes and conversations, her procrastination, and the drama with Jackie and Mom happening far away from Joe. He doubts that his sister will make the move. Then, it happens.

Sometimes, when we get what we want, there are unforeseen circumstances that follow. Joe has not lived with Jeanie since she was in grade school. There are things he does not know about his baby sister. Does anything ever go smoothly for Joe?

Once I dropped Jeanie into the Venice scene, Danny's fate was sealed. I did not plan on Romeo and Juliet. Back in the spring 2025 writing season, when I first used Joe's invitation to his sister to LAX as a way to get Jeanie back in LA, it just happened. While creating the scene of Joe introducing Jeanie to Danny at the LAX hangar, it hit me like a thunderbolt.

"Jeanie falls in love at first sight with Danny!"

I was so fucking happy. I did a shot of Jim and a hit of cannabis and went into a writing frenzy. The chapters you just read came flying out of my fingertips. These are the greatest moments in my writing hobby, when you're plodding along on a path that already exists in your mind. The story is there. I just haven't written it yet. Then, while putting the keystrokes down, an epiphany strikes that changes the trajectory of characters and sometimes the entire story.

Danny's role has been significantly upgraded, and now Jeanie lives in Los Angeles. Everything I have written that takes place late punks and in future punks must now reflect this new reality, the butterfly effect. That's a lot of work, because I have many chapters roughed out ahead. But... the creative opportunities of having his musical sister in his daily life are worth this new Jeanie in LA integration rewriting.

--- THE KRAUTS ---

In late AA chapters and through the next book, VIP Rewards, there's a significant amount of business writing. Joe retires from touring and asserts himself as the leader of his guerrilla operation. At the same time, Tina is selling a gallery and launching a fashion start-up. There are bi-coastal parallel business storylines.

Deiter and Klaus are two of my favorite 2025 rewrite characters. Joe hooking up with the Krauts will have far-reaching consequences. I had a few more epiphany moments in VIP writing. One of my favorites is Joe befriending a real-life media star who becomes an ally. As Joe's career evolves, he makes celebrity friends in the business. They say you should never meet your heroes. You may be disappointed.

The Krauts are big players in Joe's future, and Germany is the scene for the first military show as well as other future guerrilla adventures. In a June 20th blog post, I mentioned a moment of brilliance, a rare self-pat on the back. That epiphany moment was the Ramstein scenes and having Joe perform for the troops. It led to a weekend of manic writing. Armed Forces Entertainment is a future storyline to be exploited.

--- CHARACTER REHAB & DEHAB ---

I hope those who know the old Lit version can see how I used more scenes of Tina without Joe to give readers her New York perspective. The gallery scenes with T and Jenna, and the scenes in apartment 14F with her husband, are windows into her struggle. In this rewrite, one of my main goals, if not number one, was to elevate her to co-star status by writing more from her POV and having Tina's storylines intermingle with Joe's.

That's what's coming. I have learned that I enjoy writing from a woman's point of view. I don't know what that says about me, but I enjoy imagining how a woman might handle adversity, or how she might use her charms to get her way. Maybe I need a break from being inside Joe's man-brain. I believe it helps that I appreciate women's fashion, from the hair to the heels, and I can reasonably navigate female interests... with the help of Google.

My interest in exploring the female perspective opens doors Joe has no access to. He becomes a player in someone else's tale. Tina has secrets.

A big change from the Lit version to the 2025 tale is Jenna's breakup with Joe. This is a case of dehabilitation. Jenna Martin may be the best character in the AA chapters. In Lit Punks, there was a Jenna fan club, readers who wanted Joe to pick her over Tina. I felt I had to take the shine off Jenna just a little.

In the Lit story, she puts her dear John letter at the bottom of a box of pastry. Joe opens it on the plane. It's heartbreaking, but he's not angry in any way. By stuffing that letter into his backpack, where it goes unseen for days, I give Joe a reason to be offended. Because in his mind, he always makes things worse than they are. He connects Jenna and Cassie as bad breakups.

Don't worry about Jenna. She may have a sad outcome in the late 90s, but she'll be okay down the road. Her best friends never forget her. Jenna's story has not been told.

-- THE CHRONOLOGY TRAP ---

All 70 chapters of AA are uploaded and scheduled for publishing on Wattpad. The end comes on 9/20. So, if I croak next week, at least you'll get to the end of Anxiety. After that, the story continues on the punk timeline in VIP.

I believe one way I can break out of my recent writing slump is to break free of the chronological writing I have wedded myself to. Joe's journey is not just year to year. It is month to month, week to week, and in many cases, day to day. There are entire chapters that cover hours in his life, mere scenes, while other chapters traverse many miles and weeks.

I'm telling his tale from 1978 to 1998 chronologically. After that, I may employ the Punk Time Machine to leap forward in years to write future events that shatter the punk timeline, making anything possible. I have chapters written so far into the future, like old man Joe dealing with college-aged kids trapped at home during the pandemic, that I would never publish if I stayed with chronological writing. 

After VIP Rewards and White Wedding, I will break free of the chronology trap.

Doomsday Heart

It's been 50 days since I lost my mojo, and I cannot say I've found it, but last week I had a decent run, knocking out a few chapters.  For six weeks, I had bouts of writing; I might write a chapter over a few nights, and then not write for three days. I had one great weekend when a fresh idea sparked two chapters, then I didn't write for five days. My writing output is far off my usual pace. This is not necessarily a terrible thing. Obviously, my brain told me to take a break.

When I'm writing manically, and I do when inspiration strikes, I can write two chapters in a weekend, 12k words, and then clean it up later. I do a half chapter on a weeknight, easily. I average four chapters per week when I'm at my most productive; that's roughly 24k words per week.

For me, this is the time of year to write. When it's 116' in Phoenix, we hibernate. People in snow country hibernate in winter. In the Sonoran Desert, you don't go out if you don't have to during the summer. Last night we had a haboob, a massive wall of dust like in Mad Max: Fury Road. Stay indoors! Summer is usually when I write the most, not this year.

At the moment, Wattpad is on chapter 55 of 70 in Adventures in Anxiety.  At four chapters per week, AA will wrap up in late September, a vital moment in Joe and Tina's dysfunctional romance. The good news is, the next book is nearly finished, first draft writing. Even with this writing slump, I've managed to move the ball forward, but there's still editing and polishing to be done.

Lit Punks ended in February of 1998, chapter 37. When the next book, VIP Rewards, reaches 1998, it will be chapter 100. That's how much new writing was added to the old punk timeline. Overall, that endpoint is chapter 208 in the Punk Universe.

I have learned many things in my writing journey. I've stated that I can put out decent first draft writing, fully formed ideas, and scenes just rolling off my fingers. The conversation of my characters is in my head, and I can't type it fast enough. That said, I know some of the first draft writing I do feels good when I type it, but does not age well when I go back and read it days, or even hours, later.

Maybe my first draft writing isn't as good as it feels in the moment. Maybe slowing down is a good idea, intentional or not. 

--- MORTALITY ---

Last week, after having a productive several days, I thought I'd keep that going through the weekend. Late Friday night, I got sidelined by bad news. My baby brother died of a heart attack at age 50. This is a hard loss and another reminder of the garbage genes we have. My dad passed at 52, one heart attack. Mom died at 76, one heart attack. A cousin died at 47, one heart attack. Now my brother is gone far too soon.

I have a doomsday heart. My mortality has been stalking me for years. When I turned 50, I was convinced that my number was coming up soon. I went through a period of dread, not daily anxiety, but just an underlying sense that any day could be my last. On the day I turned 53, a birthday my father never saw, I went out and celebrated my birthday for the first time in many years.

Now, at 64, I feel like I'm playing with the house's money. I take a pile of meds every day, eat healthy, and exercise... but not enough. Maybe I can hold off the Grim Reaper, but like my doctor said a few years back, "It's not a matter of if ... it's a matter of when you'll have a heart attack, unless something else gets you first."

My brother is a heavy loss, and the doom of mortality that haunted me years ago is back. If one day the chapters stop coming and there are no replies to emails, you'll know why.